Best How to Have Impossible Conversations: A Very Practical Guide By Peter Boghossian

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How to Have Impossible Conversations: A Very Practical Guide-Peter Boghossian

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From politics and religion to workplace negotiations, ace the high-stakes conversations in your life with this indispensable guide from a persuasion expert.In our current political climate, it seems impossible to have a reasonable conversation with anyone who has a different opinion. Whether you're online, in a classroom, an office, a town hall—or just hoping to get through a family dinner with a stubborn relative—dialogue shuts down when perspectives clash. Heated debates often lead to insults and shaming, blocking any possibility of productive discourse. Everyone seems to be on a hair trigger.In How to Have Impossible Conversations, Peter Boghossian and James Lindsay guide you through the straightforward, practical, conversational techniques necessary for every successful conversationwhether the issue is climate change, religious faith, gender identity, race, poverty, immigration, or gun control. Boghossian and Lindsay teach the subtle art of instilling doubts and opening minds. They cover everything from learning the fundamentals for good conversations to achieving expert-level techniques to deal with hardliners and extremists. This book is the manual everyone needs to foster a climate of civility, connection, and empathy."This is a self-help book on how to argue effectively, conciliate, and gently persuade. The authors admit to getting it wrong in their own past conversations. One by one, I recognize the same mistakes in me. The world would be a better place if everyone read this book."  —Richard Dawkins, author of Science in the Soul and Outgrowing God

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This is an incredibly important and timely book. Peter Boghossian follows up on techniques he developed for his previous book, "A Manual for Creating Atheists", designed to help people have meaningful conversations even in our current climate of division. In particular, Boghossion wants to allow people to reach out to people they disagree with - and see them not as evil to be beaten, but as different perspectives which can make for a rich conversation. This is an incredible message, and I wish this book could be in every classroom.In short, Boghossian and James Lindsay are developing Peter's idea of "street epistemology". This is an adaptation of the Socratic method - or learning to question people's assertions. Through asking asking questions, and showing genuine interest, Peter believes you can achieve more in a conversation.Suppose you're talking to someone, and you find out they have a political belief you don't like. Maybe you voted for Hillary and they voted for Trump. You could call them an idiot, but most likely all that's going to do is reinforce their preconceptions about what Hillary supporters act like. Instead, you could ask them sensible questions - such as "Why did you vote for Trump?" or "Was there a specific issue you felt Trump was stronger on?". Now you're having a real, honest conversation. Peter's belief - backed up by tons of readers trying his methods and reporting their results - is that these conversations are how you change minds and grow communities.In an era of so-called cancel culture, where being perceived to hold an incorrect belief can lead to the loss of your social circle or even your job, the authors are hoping to bridge the divide and make a space for people to talk. I think this is massively important."How to Have Impossible Conversations" is well-written, clear, and to the point. This isn't a thousand-page self-help book where a note card worth of ideas is stretched out to an entire novel. This book gives a chapter to each of its points, introducing concepts and giving you specific examples of how to apply them to conversation, and it moves on. This is essentially another field manual from Boghossian, designed to be put into practice today. I love it, and I wish more authors would learn from the format.
There are way better books out there for how to have conversations with someone whose point of view is far from one's own. "Never Split the Difference" by Chris Voss comes to mind. "Crucial Conversations" by Patterson is another. Pete and James give it a good try, and they rehash a few good ideas that are presented better elsewhere. But it's lots of stuff based on their opinion, not on research. Meh. I wasted a few bucks and some time. Look elsewhere. Maybe like "How to have that difficult conversation you've been avoiding" by Cloud or "Difficult Conversations" by Stone. You'll get a little something out of this one. But you'll get a lot more from these others. Just sayin'

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